Love's Captive
by animiction
Summary: Kagome Higurashi has been struck by Inuyasha Takahashi ever since she was a child. She never seems to be able to forget about him; no matter how hard she tries. He doesn't want her anymore, she still wants him. How can she go on with a heart that will always belong to him?
1. Love's Cruelty

_**Love's Captive**_  
_**Chapter One – Love's Cruelty**_

Summary: Kagome Higurashi has been struck by a Inuyasha Takahashi ever since she was a child. She never seems to be able to forget about him; no matter how hard she tries. He doesn't want her anymore, she still wants him. How can she go on with a heart that will always belong to him?

Author's Note: To everyone who's reading this, I hope you'll like it. I would like to dedicate this fanfiction to my first love, wherever he is. He still holds my heart, and I know it'll be his, perhaps for the rest of my life.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

* * *

_If I were to never forget you, would that be a crime?_

It has been thirteen years since I last saw him. That being said, the last time I saw him was in elementary school, when I was a tiny, innocent nine-year-old girl.

My name is Kagome Higurashi, and I am twenty-two years old. I graduated from university last summer in the United States, then I came back to Tokyo, my hometown, to find work. Right now, I hate to say that I depend on my mother and I work at home, which is an old shrine. I am a Shinto priestess, but I really should go out to find a way to make my own living.

Throughout the years, I had my fair share of what typical teenage girls would experience – crushes, dates, and all those little things that make up everyone's lives when they're young. But one thing that makes me unique? I'm in love.

Love. Love is the one thing I can firmly say I have experienced. Because I've been in love ever since I was nine.

None of my friends ever took me seriously. Love isn't something you can find that easily, especially not when you're nine. That would be called a crush.

But is it really a crush when you've thought of him all the years you've been separated from him? Is it a crush when you go to sleep at night, thinking that maybe, just maybe he might feel the same way if you were to meet him? Is it a crush when your deepest wish is to see him, to be at least friends with him, and to be by his side, as a lover or not, throughout his life?

I can never forget him, no, he has become an inevitable part of me.

And my heart will belong to him.

Always.

* * *

_If I were to relive all our memories all the time, would you laugh at me?_

"Inuyasha Takahashi?"

"Present," the quiet eight-year-old boy said, raising his hand for a moment.

It was a typical school day, in the middle of March. Even as young as they were, Kagome knew what a crush was. She liked the cute boys in her class. There was Miroku, Ginta and Inuyasha. Personally, she thought Ginta was the hottest, and they had more than often flirted on the school bus on their way to school.

As for Miroku and Inuyasha, they sometimes came up to her, and there was this _feeling_ that they liked her. Especially Inuyasha. So she felt as if she might as well like them too. They would smile at her, or talk to her, and she just knew.

The year droned on, and before she knew it, Ginta and Miroku weren't in her class anymore. It was Inuyasha, and she saw him everyday at school. He was the only boy she thought of now. Him and his unique woodsy scent that always clung to him.

There were instances when she accidentally brushed against his arm, or slip her hand into his. They were all accidents, yet these moments always left her blushing furiously. The last time her hand ever brushed his, Inuyasha had turned to look at her for a full minute. She had looked away, her cheeks painted red, and it wasn't until the teacher called for their attention did he look away.

"Hey, have you heard about Inuyasha and Sango?" Rin whispered to her one day.

"What about them?" Sango was her best friend, and even so, Kagome had never confided in anyone about her crush on Inuyasha. It seemed to be better if it was kept a secret.

"Inuyasha likes Sango. That's what everyone's saying," Rin replied.

Her heart sank. She kept quiet.

But she did note how Inuyasha gave Sango an extremely expensive present on her birthday.

And she did note how Inuyasha avoided her as much as possible that year.

* * *

_If I am confused, would you want to make things clear for me?_

"Rin? Yeah, it's me Kagome," she spoke into the phone.

"Oh my god! It's been like, years! How's America?" Rin gushed enthusiastically.

"It's okay, but I miss home so much. How's Tokyo?" Kagome asked.

"High school. So much work I swear!"

Kagome thought it was now or never.

"Hey, you still remember Inuyasha?"

"Sure, he's in my class now. What about him?"

Kagome inhaled slowly. Why she was talking about this was beyond her.

"I – I still like him."

There was a few beats of silence, then Rin spoke again.

"You mean you liked him before? And now you still like him? But it's been almost seven years!"

Kagome gave a nervous chuckle. "Yeah, I know, but I still feel something."

It wasn't till later that Rin told her she had personally gone up to Inuyasha to tell him. Kagome hadn't expected Rin to be so bold, but maybe the years had morphed her into a girl she didn't know.

"He said he didn't even know you," Rin said, answering Kagome's queries as to his reaction. "I'm really sorry, Kagome."

"It's fine," Kagome felt numb for an instant, her heart dropped into her stomach. Was this heartbreak? No it couldn't be. It was a stupid crush her stupid nine-year-old self had had on a guy. Then something small snapped in her at Rin's words.

"What does he mean he doesn't even know me? We were in the same class for two years! He's such a liar!"

"I'm sure he meant he didn't know know you, you know what I mean?"

Kagome sighed. "Yeah, okay fine."

"Sorry Kagome, really."

It wasn't many weeks later that Rin and Kagome got caught up with their lives, and slowly drifted apart, never contacting each other again.

* * *

_If I went out with other boys, would you still creep into my mind?_

"Really? Why would you do that?" Kagome laughed with the cute boy next to her.

"Hey, I honestly didn't know it was wine! I mean my mom comes in bringing three bottles of juice. Then she's like, 'have some when you're thirsty!' So that's what I did. Who knew that one would be wine?" Kouga said, glad to see his date so happy.

Kagome was still laughing uncontrollably. "How was the hangover?"

Kouga shuddered. "Terrible, I tell you. My head hurt like hell. I downed like more than half of that wretched drink before I felt something was wrong. How does a ten-year-old boy know what wine tastes like? I mean, it tasted kinda like grape juice that went wrong."

Kagome was still laughing when she suddenly squealed.

"Didn't think you were ticklish, eh?" Kouga smirked, his hands at her hips.

Kagome slid as far away as she could from him, but he managed to tackle her so she was almost lying down on the seat.

"I'm not! Stop!" she protested between squeaks and giggles.

As she stared into Kouga's sincere eyes, only one thought crossed her mind.

'Why can't I fall for him? Why am I still stuck over that idiot?"

Kouga was nice and funny, not to mention that he made it so obvious he was interested in her. Yet he wasn't what she wanted, and she could never say yes to him.

That was their first date, among many others.

* * *

_If I felt like I wanted to be by your side forever, would you let me?_

I was sixteen when I thought of wanting to be there for you forever.

The feelings I had had for you had dulled over the years, yet I was unsure whether they had really, truly dulled, or had morphed into something else entirely.

When the junior prom photos went up online, I saw you in them. You were as handsome as ever. You definitely weren't the cutest or hottest guy I ever met, but I found you absolutely beautiful. Your golden eyes struck me, your dishevelled silver locks only added to your and I felt my heart stutter.

I never shed tears for you, no.

Because my heart bled for you.

I decided I wanted to be your friend, when I moved back to Tokyo and if fate were so kind as to let me meet you once more. I wanted to be the one you could rely on, because I knew I was the one person on earth who would never betray you for anything. I didn't have to have you as a lover – I would know better than anyone else that you can't force other people to love you. Yet I wanted to be by your side, always.

* * *

_If I were to think about meeting you once again all the time, would it really happen?_

I had always visualized our meeting to be completely random. We would bump into each other as complete strangers, then we would recognize each other right away. The awkwardness would then suffocate us, but I would try to ease it the best I could.

Little did I know it would be so different from that.

I had always been passionate about writing, so I decided to try writing short stories for living. After submitting my work to a few publishers, one of them contacted me. I had been ecstatic, and dressed hurriedly that morning with a glint of excitement in my eye.

"Good luck Kagome!" My mother had hugged me warmly, ensuring me that I would do just fine.

"Thank you mama," I returned her smile.

When I reached the publisher's main office, the woman at the counter told me to sit by the side to wait for my interview. There was only one man sitting there – a man with silver hair.

I had recognized him immediately when I stepped into the office, yet I was hoping I had made a horrible mistake. After all, there could be someone else out there that looked like him.

Perhaps it was the clogging perfume the woman wore, or simply because of all the years that had gone past. He didn't recognize me at all, not even my scent.

"Hey," he flashed me a smile, nodding towards the folder in my hands. "You're a writer too?"

"Yep!" I barely squeaked out, sitting down next to him. He still smelled the same, and his amber eyes were still as stunning as ever. He was so handsome.

"Can I see it?" he asked, holding out a hand.

"Only if I get to see yours," I replied, trying hard to slow my heart down.

"Sure," he shrugged, taking my folder while handing me his.

It took him approximately five seconds to see my name.

"Kagome Higurashi?" his wide eyes bore into mine with shock.

"Hi Inuyasha," I said, looking away immediately. I was scared he might think I still liked him or something (which was true) but it would be so embarrassing if he knew that, so I had to act oblivious. And maybe drop in a hint or two about a boyfriend or something.

There was a few beats of silence before he spoke again. I took that time to take a deep breath, and I noted how his woodsy scent was still there. I imprinted that scent into my mind once more.

"Wow, I didn't expect to see you again."

His tone seemed…weird. Like he was trying to act casual yet there was something brewing behind it all. I didn't know him well, but I felt something in it.

"Yes, me neither. Last time we saw each other was in elementary school."

I had no idea what to say. What I really wanted was to keep in touch with him, to see him again, and become friends with him. Yet it was so awkward between us it was suffocating me.

"Hey, would you, uh, like to have lunch together after this? I mean, so we could catch up on stuff?" I spoke up after a moment.

He waited until I looked up at him. "I'm sorry, but I'm not free after this."

I nodded, acting indifferent. My heart screamed otherwise, as I felt another break. How many times would it hurt over this one boy?

Gosh, how I wish I could forget about him. Find a new love and move on.

"But I'm free tomorrow, do you want to meet up?" Inuyasha continued, still looking at me.

"Sure," I barely muttered, acting uninterested. I would not be the one to ask him for his phone number. No way.

"What's your number?" he asked, whipping out his phone.

Yes! I did a small mental dance in my head. I won!

I gave him my number, keeping my cool face on, and he gave me his.

Later that night would I feel torn. Was it for the better that I was going to see him again? Or would it hurt me even more afterwards?

Love is so cruel. And yet, I love him.

I really do.


	2. Love's Contentment

_**Love's Captive**_  
_**Chapter Two – Love's Contentment**_

Summary: Kagome Higurashi has been struck by a Inuyasha Takahashi ever since she was a child. She never seems to be able to forget about him; no matter how hard she tries. He doesn't want her anymore, she still wants him. How can she go on with a heart that will always belong to him?

Author's Note: I would like to say a huge thank you for everyone who showed interest in this story. And so, the story continues!

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

* * *

"I've missed you so much Kagome," the gorgeous long-limbed beauty said, pulling me into a hug in front of her apartment.

"Me too, Sango, me too," I smiled warmly.

"Come in!" she said, ushering me into her new home.

Even though we had barely communicated all these years, we had once been inseparable in elementary school. Of course, we still wished each other "Happy Birthday" and called once in a blue moon, but we hadn't seen each other in years.

"Welcome home, I'm glad I can see you all the time now."

"It's been weird, I never wanted to leave. So you're an artist now?" I looked around at the various paintings hung on the walls. Sango had always been an excellent painter and her drawings were incredible. She had gone to a renowned art college in Tokyo, and had just graduated. She was now an art teacher, and in her spare time, she sold her paintings.

"Yup, I really like it. And hey, do you want some lemonade? It's homemade," Sango rushed to the kitchen after I had sat down on the sofa.

"Sure," I was still busy looking around. There was a hamster rolling around in its cage at one corner. Next to her television was a huge stack of video games. I smiled, remembering how she had always been passionate about that as well. Her obsession for various things that were complete opposites of each other always made her unpredictable.

"I'm glad you're still the same," I said as she came out with two glasses of lemonade.

"I could say the same about you," Sango sat down beside me. "So what have you been up to?"

I shrugged, not sure what to say. "I want to write for a living, and I met a publisher yesterday who was sort of interested in my work."

"Oooh, sounds nice. Can't wait to have a phenomenal writer as my friend. I get free books right?" she joked, taking a sip from her glass.

"Haha very funny," I pretended to glare.

"So you have a boyfriend now?"

I took a chug of my drink before slowly putting it down. Then I turned back to Sango, who was looking at me questioningly.

"Your face is turning red, so am I right?" Sango smiled knowingly.

"Actually," I started, taking a deep breath. This was going to be hard to explain.

"You still remember Inuyasha? From elementary?"

"Yeah, so you're going out with him?"

I flushed red, immediately spluttering "No!" while Sango kept laughing.

"Chill, Kagome, I was just joking around. What about him?"

"I met him yesterday at that publisher's office. Apparently, he's some kind of writer too."

Before I had finished speaking, Sango nodded. "Yeah, I remember he was one of those boys that liked reading and writing."

He…was? I understood how he told Rin that he didn't know me; apparently, I didn't know him, either.

"Anyways, I'm having lunch with him tomorrow at that new café thing near my house," I explained. "But it's just as friends, and we're just going to do some catching up. It's been years since I've seen him."

Sango nodded understandingly. "And how does that link with you and your boyfriend?"

"I don't have one, actually, I've never had a boyfriend before."

Sango's expression was priceless, as she almost spat out whatever lemonade she had in her mouth.

"What?! How – what – why – no way!"

"Way!" I protested, enjoying this a bit. Her incredulous expression was extremely funny, I wanted to keep it into my memory forever.

"No seriously Kagome, you're pretty. And I know guys would ask you out. If I were a guy, I'd definitely hit on you."

"Well, I have gone out with a few, but they weren't my 'boyfriend'. We went out just as friends. That's where Inuyasha comes in."

"Explain," Sango demanded, in full businesswoman mode now.

I took a deep breath. "I liked him when we were in elementary. I thought it was just a crush, but after all these years, I still think about him all the time. He pops into my mind, and he haunts my dreams. I don't think I'll ever look at a boy the way I look at him."

"Kagome," she said, as she scooted over to pat my arm.

"It's okay, I'm already used to this…emptiness in me. He'll have my heart for the rest of my life, I swear."

It was silent for a few minutes until Sango spoke, "Kagome, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not sure he's your type anymore. I think it was in sixth grade or so that something went wrong with him. He was definitely missing some screws in his head, and he liked random sexual innuendos that were…not funny at all. If that helps honey. Maybe it was a random teenage stage he went through, but anyhow, I'll always be here to support you."

I nodded, glad that I had Sango by my side. Even though her opinion of Inuyasha might be a bit on the negative side, I still felt as strongly for him. No matter how he turned out, I would always love him.

"Is he…seeing someone?" I crossed my fingers, hoping, mostly in vain, that he was not.

"Not at the moment," Sango reassured me. "Actually, from what I know, he's only dated two girls in his life. He went out with Eri in our last year of elementary school, and with Kikyou, this girl you don't know, in university. They were steady for two years, but they decided to break it off a few months ago. Kikyou moved to Osaka, where her uncle started some kind of business, and she went to help him out."

"How did you know all this? You know that girl…Kikyou?" Her name felt weird on my tongue, as if I should say it more harshly. After all, she was one of the girls who Inuyasha had spent some time with, and they had probably been in love too.

"Miroku's Inuyasha's best friend, and I still…keep in touch with both of them."

I pondered her words for a bit before nodding slowly.

"How about you?" I said, smiling gently at Sango. "You have a boyfriend I should know about?"

"It's actually a bit of a secret, and I've been with him for a year now…"

I waited in anticipation. From her nervousness, this had to be a guy I knew.

"It's Miroku."

"Wow, congratulations!" I said, genuinely happy for Sango. No wonder she knew what Inuyasha had been up to.

"Thanks, but the huge problem is that he turned into a huge letch halfway through high school."

"What do you mean by that?"

Sango sighed dramatically. "He gropes anything female, asks every girl he sees to bear his children and even when I'm going out with him, he slips his number to random chicks on the street."

Kagome looked at her incredulously. "And you're still going out with him."

Sango blushed. "I don't even know why, but I can't seem to dump him. He apologizes sincerely every time, and he ensures me that only I own his heart. And I don't know, Kagome, I think I really do love him."

"That's good," I commented. "Maybe in time, he'll change back to normal?"

"Sure thing he will," Sango rolled her eyes. But through her sarcasm, I could see hope in her eyes. I really hoped things would turn out fine – for the both of us.

* * *

The day we had arranged to meet turned out to be a rainy day.

It was noon by the time I arrived, and I was ten minutes early. Who could blame me, a girl in love who wanted to see the boy who had been haunting her dreams again?

I had walked to the coffee shop which he had proposed, although 'coffee shop' wasn't really the accurate term for that restaurant. It had high stools and a 'bar', and customers could choose to sit in normal booths or on the stools. No alcohol was served; it _was_ only a coffee shop in a way. And it was on one of these stools that I saw him on the moment I stepped inside the warm, dry place.

My heart sped up as I opened the door, the bells attached to it ringing faintly. I dropped my umbrella into the small bucket near the door, where two other umbrellas were sitting comfortably. The shop was almost deserted, save for an old man at a corner, and a bunch of high school students in their uniforms at another end. And of course, Inuyasha, sitting next to another man.

He was leaning against the table, his back facing towards the bar and the bartender, with a few droplets of water clinging to his silver strands. The water droplets shimmered slightly under the dim light, and I was struck by how perfect he looked. He wore a grey hoodie and jeans, with black and green sneakers. He was nodding to whatever his companion was saying when his eyes flashed upwards and met mine.

My world stopped again, and I felt my eyes widening at the sight of his amber orbs.

Why oh why, oh wretched heart, do you have to do this to me? He wasn't anything special, and I'm sure many girls wouldn't call him their type. What did I ever do in my past life to deserve this? Even if I was evil, then Karma was a bitch.

Barely breathing, I walked the few necessary steps to reach him and his companion. It wasn't until I was close enough did I recognize the man sitting next to him.

"Miroku?" I asked. The man _had_ to be Miroku, I was sure.

"Hi Kagome," he flashed me a smile then slid off his stool and opened his arms.

He was expecting a hug? Oh well.

I had missed Miroku too, so I returned his smile and hugged him gently, my arms around his neck.

Beside me, I felt Inuyasha moving. Was he standing up?

After a few moments, I pried Miroku's arms off of me. I felt his right hand moving dangerously low, and I decided I was in no mood to deal with a pervert.

"Hey," Inuyasha said, his voice a bit husky.

His arms was opened as well, identical to what Miroku had been doing a minute ago. Shrugging indifferently, I hugged him, just like what I had done with Miroku.

I was sure his keen senses picked up the sound of my heart speeding a hundred miles an hour, and the colour of my flushed skin. In his arms, I felt so warm, with his familiar woodsy scent, his body enveloping mine. I seemed so petite in his arms. I leaned in, carefully placing my chin on his shoulder. He was at least a head taller than me.

Suddenly I felt his hand trail downwards. I inhaled sharply, not daring to believe it. Did he find me attractive that way? If he did, then I wouldn't complain. I'd let him do anything he wanted to me, I was his, anyway.

But no, he wasn't the huge pervert Miroku was. His hand simply grasped my thigh and nudged it upwards. He wanted me to wrap my legs around him? Why?

I complied to his silent request, feeling Miroku's curious eyes follow our every move. I could tell he wanted to do that to girls, and was trying to pick up some skills from Inuyasha.

Then Inuyasha started walking.

"What?" I managed to say, maybe a bit too loud for the quiet shop.

"That's what I do to my little sister every time we reunite. Here, let me show you around the store," he said back, both of his strong arms around my waist.

Seriously? Why did he have to carry me around like this? Not that I was complaining, I rather liked this proximity. He was so very very _warm_.

"Oh, okay," I mumbled out as my arms loosened around his neck. Maybe Sango was right about him losing some screws in his head. Either way, I didn't mind. I would have him the way he was, be it crazy or perverted or downright insane.

Miroku's curious gaze never left us, though I never looked at him to make sure. I so did not feel like listening to whatever thoughts he had running through his mind. Inuyasha wasn't like that. Sure, he was a guy with urges and all, but I knew that he wouldn't take advantage of a girl who didn't like him (which was what I hoped he thought).

As we passed by, the group of high school kids wolf-whistled. The bartender barely looked up. The old man simply stared. I could read the expression in his eyes, which was practically screaming "young love". How I wished it was true.

Inuyasha was speaking to me the entire way, telling me about this and that. I barely paid attention, too preoccupied with _him_. I felt his silky tresses with my hands, inhaled his unique scent as I buried my face in the crook of his neck. He didn't seem to mind, and he held me so tightly I wasn't scared of falling.

Finally, all too soon, he set me down on the stool he had been sitting on before. I smiled gently at him as he let go of me, our faces coming close to each other's.

"Sorry about that, I don't know what came over me," his warm breath fanned over my face unintentionally. He stepped back and took a seat between me and Miroku.

"It's fine," I assured him.

The bartender approached us, and we ordered our drinks. It still felt strange, ordering a latte from him, but that was the way it went in there.

"So," Inuyasha turned to me. "How's life?"

"I just came back form America," I said, twirling my fingers as I spoke. "I've been gone for so many years, but I'm glad nothing seems to have changed much. How about you?"

"Nothing much either," he said, facing forwards. "I honestly don't know what I want to do right now, so I submitted a few stories to see if the publishers liked it or not."

"Same here," I said, unsure how to respond.

Silence engulfed us. I suddenly remembered the question that had been burning in my mind ever since I stepped in.

"If it's not too rude or anything, why is Miroku here?" I didn't want it to sound like I wanted to be with Inuyasha only, but I really wanted to know.

"He stalked me," Inuyasha explained, shooting Miroku a glare. Miroku only smirked in return. "He wanted me to help him find a birthday present for his girlfriend, but I told him I was busy. And when he pestered me about what I was 'busy' with, I didn't tell him. I'd bet anything he took it the wrong way, the letcher he is."

I laughed lightly, knowing that these two were an amusing pair.

"Come on!" Miroku pretended to look hurt. "Isn't it even more suspicious if you didn't tell me what you were doing?"

"Keh," Inuyasha said. I smiled, still remembering how he used to say that all the time even when he was a child. "Don't you have to get something for Sango?"

Miroku pouted, which almost caused my jaw to drop at the sight. "Yes, but her birthday's next week so I still have a few days."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

By the end of our three hours together, we had gotten to know one another better than we ever had before. Inuyasha and Miroku threw insults at each other, and always remembered to find some way or another to include me into their conversation. It was one of the bests afternoons I had ever experienced, and I was sure these would be precious memories that would hurt me even more when Inuyasha left me again.

"Friends?" I asked, sticking my hand out for Inuyasha to shake when we turned to leave.

He hesitated for only a second.

"Friends." He smiled at me, shaking my hand firmly.

And yet, I loved him. Loved him in a way more than a friend should.

Yet this had to be enough, I had to be content with what little part of him I had.

Perhaps for now, perhaps for eternity.


End file.
